Child abuse can be a very difficult subject to talk about with your child however; children are better protected and prepared if they have information. It is also beneficial to discuss this topic with your children, because if your child knows that you are comfortable talking about child abuse, they are much more likely to tell you if they have questions or concerns.

This website will help you prepare you child for dealing with a potentially abusive situation and will also provide you with information you may need if your child has been abused. If you know the topic you are interested in, click on one of the sections below, or you can continue reading to cover all topics.
 

Educating Your Child
 

 Educating your child about child abuse includes talking about:
 

• Good and bad touches: let them know that if someone touches them in a way that makes them feel uncomfortable they should tell an adult they trust about it;
   

• Trusting their feelings: child abusers tend to use a process of tricks and manipulation rather than physical force to abuse children. Tell your child to trust their feelings, even if an adult tells them that an action or situation is OK but they do not feel OK, they should tell someone they trust about it; 
   

• Body parts: teach your children the proper names for all body parts;
   

• Saying “NO”: teach your child to say “NO” like they mean it, this may mean that you provide opportunities for them to say NO to you. It is very difficult for a child to say NO to any adult, so they must know that they have your permission and encouragement to do this. Let the child care staff know that this is very important to you and your child;
   

• Child care staff and routines: ask questions if you see things that you find confusing, drop in at different times during the day so that you are familiar with all staff and routines, and ask your child specific questions to help them talk to you about their time in child care. For example: “What did Sara (child care worker) have for you at the sand table today?” is a much easier question to answer than “What did you do today?”);
   

• Surprises and secrets: talk to your child about the difference between a secret and a surprise, and encourage others to use these words properly. Surprises are kept for a certain length of time and usually involve several people (a surprise birthday party, for example). Secrets are usually between 2 or 3 people and are kept because telling will get someone in trouble. Encourage your child to tell you if someone wants them to keep a secret.

Child Care Staff Requirements

The staff in your child care program should be: 

• Supervising children at all times: children should never be left alone, especially in a public place;

• Making arrangements for children who come to or leave the program without an adult to walk with a buddy: your child may walk or take the bus to and from school, they must have either another child or adult with them at all times.

 What to do if You Think Your Child is Being Abused

If your child begins to tell you about being abused: 
 

• Listen to the child and let them tell their story in their own words or actions: children often tell their own stories by drawing, playing with dolls, action figures or other toys, or by acting it out;

• Children seldom lie about abuse: tell your child that you believe what he/she has said, and that you are glad to have been told about it;

• Tell your child clearly and often that this is not their fault; 

• Allow your child to have their own feelings: at times, they may be angry or sad, and at other times seem to be disinterested in what is happening. They may also continue with their regular routines and activities without seeming to have any response. All of these are typical responses to difficult situations. 
   

 Your child may have concerns associated with their abuser: 
 

• If the abuser has threatened or manipulated your child, they may fear that something bad will happen to them or to their family. Let them know that you will keep them safe;

• Your child may be worried about their abuser getting in trouble. Let them know that the person will be taken care of by others.
   

• The abuse will stop immediately;

• They are safe;

• You believe them;

• You are glad that they told you about this so that you can take care of them;

• You have to report this to a Child Protection Worker;

• You want them to tell their story to the Child Protection Worker: this is part of keeping them safe;

• Someone they trust can be with them at all times when they are telling their story.

As with any other adult, you have a legal responsibility to contact a Child Protection Worker if you believe that your child has been abused.   

The Child Protection Worker will begin the investigation by talking with you about your concerns. Give them as much information as possible. They may also involve the RCMP in the investigation. 
 

The Child Protection Worker will begin an investigation with your child by talking with them and asking them to describe what has happened. 
 

Do not coach your child, but reassure them that it is OK to talk to the Child Protection Worker and the RCMP. 
 

Your child has a right to have a support person present while being interviewed. The Child Protection Worker may ask you to designate a person other than yourself to be with your child. If so, ask a family friend, counselor, elder, or other person that you trust to be available for this. 
 

Do not insist that your child tell you what they told the Child Protection Worker or the RCMP – they might feel tired, angry and ashamed after telling their story. Allow them to talk about it with you when they are ready. 
 

If you would like more information about reporting child abuse, see the Child Abuse Handbook. 

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